When someone asks what jewellery to wear to a funeral, the answer is almost always the same: pearls. Not because of convention alone, but because of what pearls actually are and what they quietly communicate in a moment that calls for dignity above everything else.
Here, Chrissie Douglas explains which pearls to wear, how many strands and what to leave at home
Why pearls are the right choice
Pearls have been worn at funerals and memorial services for centuries, and not by accident. They carry a symbolism that suits the occasion precisely: purity, wisdom, gentleness. They are, as Chrissie Douglas puts it, a sober gem. Pearls aren’t decorative for decoration's sake. They’re meaningful.
"Pearls really portray a sense of gentleness and wisdom," she explains. "They're a symbol of purity. And they are a sober gem, not a frivolous gem."
There’s also a practical dimension. Against black clothing, pearls stand out softly and beautifully. On a day when many people find themselves unable to wear much makeup, or when tears make that impossible, pearls do quiet work. They enhance the face even when you’re pale or tired, without requiring anything else of you.
"Even when you can’t wear makeup because you're going to be crying, you want to use pearls because they will enhance your beauty," says Chrissie. "Even if you're looking quite pale and grey, they will still enhance you."
How many strands?
Look at any royal funeral or state memorial and the pattern is consistent. Pearl necklaces, worn as a single, double or triple strand. Chrissie's guidance is to stay within that range. Beyond three strands, the look tips from dignified into something more elaborate than the occasion warrants.
"It's always pearls. Either single, double or triple strands," says Chrissie. "Don't go more than that."
Necklace and earrings, and nothing more
For a funeral, the necklace and earrings are enough. Chrissie's advice is to leave the bracelet at home. Not because it isn't beautiful, but because a bracelet reads as an extra, a flourish, something worn for pleasure.
“Just do the necklace and the earrings,” she explains. “A bracelet is a frivolous thing. At a funeral, we want to keep the attire as sober as possible.”
The aim is to keep the overall look as considered and restrained as possible, out of respect both for the occasion and for the family of the person who has died.
Which colour pearl?
White pearls are the traditional choice, and for most people they remain the right one. That said, white pearls vary considerably in their overtone. Some lean pink, some cream, some silvery. The shade that sits best against your skin matters here as much as it does anywhere else. The principle is the same as it always is with pearls: the right colour should enhance you, not wash you out.
Chrissie's approach is to stay within the white family while being led by complexion. A warm-toned skin might suit a creamier or rose-overtone pearl while a cooler complexion might be better served by something with a silver or grey cast. The goal, even at a funeral, is to look your best. It’s a kindness to yourself, and a mark of respect to those around you.
If you would like guidance on finding the right pearl necklace for any occasion, Coleman Douglas Pearls offers personal consultations led by Chrissie herself. Visit Coleman Douglas Pearls or book a personal consultation with Chrissie.
